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Truthful Translations of Political Speech
Or, "What they really meant when they said that."
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Politics is the practice of doublespeak. Fortunately, through the magic of creativity and relatively cheap digital audio editing tools, the speech of political creatures can finally be unspun, and the truth laid bare.

These are galleries of translations of popular politicians as made by audio collage artists from around the planet. While these files are being made freely available here, the creators of these works may hold additional rights to them which could preclude their use in other settings. Please contact the creators directly about such matters.

All files are encoded in MP3 format, unless otherwise noted.

If you find yourself spurred to create a translation of your favorite politician's rhetoric, please submit an MP3 so we can share it with others. If anyone would like to add, modify or delete their listing(s) in the gallery, simply e-mail us and we will do so.

Those who are easily offended by heavy doses of irony should probably leave now. You may also hear the occasional cuss word in some translations: you have been warned.

Totally Subjective Rating System:
- Unbelievably believable, cream of the crop
- Absurdly compelling
- More cut, less paste

Newly-Added Translations - A special page where the newest cuts live, so return visitors don't have to wade thru the voluminous content below. (December 18, 2012)

George W. Bush (367 links)
The 43rd president of the United States is the current master of obfuscation. His speaking style seems to lend itself to translation - or maybe it's just the fact that the disconnects between his rhetoric and reality are so incredibly huge as to compel reinterpretation.

Various Artists (34 links)
Multiple politicos diced and blended into revealing dialogues.


Ronald Reagan (16 links)
The Alzheimer's seems to explain a lot now, but this actor turned president-actor provided plenty of fodder for collage artists.



Barack Obama (15 links)
Democratic wunderkind and 44th President certainly speaks with inspiration.


Tony Blair (13 links)
One of the slickest politicos on the U.K. scene, the former Prime Minister is a potential motherlode of rhetorical fodder.


Donald Rumsfeld (11 links)
He may have been more coherent than his boss, but the things that came out of his mouth were oftentimes just as baffling.

John Kerry (9 links)
The Democratic challenger to GWB in 2004 is under-hyped and over-handled: help him speak for himself like he did when he was younger!

George Bush, Sr. (9 links)
If you thought "read my lips, no new taxes" was a good one, get a load of these.

Bill Clinton (9 links)
Even an artful elocutionist like Bill, who can redefine the meaning of "is" at will, has his words mangled artfully.


Richard Nixon (9 links)
Another president with the potential to be very funny when properly assembled. Considering the skeletons in the closet there are to work with, I'm surprised there aren't more translations of him.

Lyndon B. Johnson (6 links)
Having lived through so much history, why is there so little lampooning of it?




Arnold Schwarzenegger (6 links)
From body builder to action flick star to governor: welcome to California, the land where dreams come true...even the bad ones.

John F. Kennedy (6 links)
One of the most mythical Presidents of all time.




Dick Cheney (4 links)
The literal man behind the curtain, f*cking the world from an undisclosed location. Why can't he just go f*ck himself?


Dwight Eisenhower (4 links)
Military man turned civilian commander-in-chief, Eisenhower helped usher in the Cold War but also had a respectful wary streak of the process.

Adolf Hitler (3 links)
An evil man, granted, but that only makes him more susceptible to subversion.




Gerald Ford (2 links)
The accidental president has a few fans....




Franklin D. Roosevelt
2 Party Government (3:03, 2.8 MB)
 
Creator: Diego Music Creations
Source Material: Unknown
FDR gives war-speak on the re-invasion of Europe.


Harry Truman
Truman Atomic Bomb 1945 (3:06, 2.9 MB)
 
Creator: Diego Music Creations
Source Material: Unknown
Truman ushers in the nuclear age with appropriately spooky accompaniament.


Herbert Hoover
Herbert Hoover (4:31, 4.2 MB)
 
Creator: Kumquat
Source Material: Unknown/Various
Poignant to historiographers.

John Ashcroft (4 links)
Your Fundie Friend for Freedom! Erm...yeah. 'Nuff said.

David Cameron (4 links)
British Prime Minister's golden tongue turns to lead.

Robert Kennedy (3 links)
Younger, similarly-slain brother to the Camelot president, he left some notable quotes behind.



John McCain (3 links)
Amazingly enough, in none of these cases does "get off my lawn!" come into play...yet.


Dan Quayle (2 links)
After all the public gaffes in his political life, one does not necesarily need to redo Dan to make him any more entertaining.

Ari Fleischer (2 links)
Now retired from the Bush II administration, this malleable mouthpiece was well-known for a Clinton-esque appreciation for the English language (read: obfuscation).

Queen Elizabeth II (2 links)
Staid and formal, the Queen of the British empire can be bent.


Ralph Nader (2 links)
Not a man without his share of enemies, you can pretty much count on Ralph to always speak truth to power.


Martin Luther King, Jr.
MLK (Rise Again) (9:56, 9.2 MB)
 
Creator: rx
Source Material: "Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break Silence," April 4, 1967
Universal truths about war laid to faint funk.

Mitt Romney
Mitt Romney Isn't Gay (:59, YouTube Link)
 
Creator: Poison Popcorn
Source Material: Unknown
Favorite Quote: "As the governor, I had sex in a church with a couple of judges who apparently, I found out, were gay."

Benito Mussolini
Mussolini Tupac Rap (:49, YouTube Link)
 
Creator: Unknown
Source Material: Unknown
This is actually a response to a Hitler does Biggie mashup.

Frank Moore
L'idéaliste (4:46, 3.3 MB)

Creator: Ledit RenArt
Source Material: Unknown
Non-partisan write-in Prez candidate has quite the impressive platform.


Margaret Thatcher
Thatcher Tribute to Reagan (w/music) (2:29, 1.5 MB)

Thatcher Tribute to Reagan (acapella)_(1:40, 784K)

Creator: Poison Popcorn
Source Material: Unknown
Favorite Quote: "We've had sex regularly, both before and after his passing. And I've had Ronald Reagan's firm prick fill my terrible, stagnant cunt. Let me tell you, nothing was more invigorating."

John Howard
A Deep Personal Love (2:52, 8 MB, Quicktime Required)

Creator: New Horizons in Violence
Source Material: Unknown
Australian Prime Minister is hooked on Bush!



Nick Griffin
Nick Griffin on Question Time, 2009 (1:24, YouTube Link) .
Creator: Poison Popcorn
Source Material: Unknown
Favorite Quote: "
I am a thoroughly unpleasant cunt; I am a monster."

Alberto Gonzales
Gonzales Coronation (6:24, 5.2 MB)

Creator: Norton Scooter
Source Material: Unknown/Various
Favorite Quote: "The violent physical abuse and sexual abuse from Guantanamo to Afghanistan, and then into Iraq - this was simply people having fun. What you see in the pictures is people trying to have fun."
Cameo counterpoint by SpongeBob SquarePants.

Rudolph Giuliani
Giuliani Is A Virus (4:00, 3.3 MB)

Creator: Norton Scooter
Source Material: Unknown/Various
Favorite Quote: "I am a little bit like cancer."
Music: Laurie Anderson, "Language is a Virus"

George Tenet
CIA Weapons Speech (2:37, 1.3 MB)

Creator: Poison Popcorn
Source Material: "Iraq and Weapons of Mass Destruction," delivered at Georgetown University, February 5, 2004
Favorite Quote: "Satellite photos showed a pattern of activity designed to conceal Saddam's ass on at least ten different occasions."

Pat Buchanan
Kulturkampf (1:14, 1.2 MB)

Creator: Chris Burke
Source Material: Unknown
Favorite Quote: "It is just about time for the mob to control our country."

Douglas Feith
Douglas Feith November 2003 in E-Flat (3:16, 3.1 MB)

Creator: New Horizons in Violence
Source Material: Interview with Australian journalist, November 2003
Undersecretary of Defense and neocon warmonger gets pinned down on civillian deaths.

Zell Miller
Zellot (2:04, 5.5 MB, Real Player required)

Creator: pkj
Source Material: Address to the Republican National Convention, September 1, 2004
Turncoat Democrat's militaristic broadside is spiced up with new background video.

Sarah Palin
Redheaded Sasquatch For Jesus (3:12, 3 MB)
 
Creator: Kumquat
Source Material: Unknown/Various
Yes, she actually bleated this. Thank heavens for the moose's counterpoint.

David Blunkett
Totali Blunkett (3:51, 2.7 MB)
 
Creator: Poison Popcorn
Source Material: Unknown
Favorite Quote: "At the end of the day it's the job of government - and in fact, it's the most fundamental job of government - to scare the electorate."
Disgraced former UK Home Minister on the politics of coercion.



John Reid
John Reid Phonecall (6:01, 5.6 MB)
 
Video Version (6:17, 10.3 MB, Windows Media Player Required)
Creator: Poison Popcorn
Source Material: Unknown
Favorite Quote: "If you want evidence, you have to make something up, based on public preconceptions and the threat from terrorism."
UK Home secretary has a beef for fish.


The Dalai Lama
Dalai Lama (3:14, 3 MB)

Creator: Ledit RenArt
Source Material: Unknown/Various


Monica Goodling
Lying For Jesus (4:12, 3.9 MB)

Creator: Kenneth Young
Source Material: Testimony before Congress, May 23, 2007
Former White House/Justice Department liaison caught in the crossfire over political hirings and firings.

Winston Churchill
War of Nerves (3:10, 3 MB)
 
Creator: Diego Music Creations
Source Material: Unknown
Cold-war bluster with a future-classical accompaniment.

Other Notable Translations:

Bush Boys (3:44, 7.7 MB, QuickTime Player required)
Broadcast-Quality Version (56.5 MB, On2-VP3 codec required)
Creator: Unknown ("a corporate news employee who wished to remain anonymous"); originated @ subMedia
Source Material: Various
Music: "Bush Boys," DJ Dangermouse & Jemini


Leave It to Bush! (1:43, 680K, Flash Player Required)
Creator: Ken McIntyre
GWB meets Gary Busey...and some ferrets!


Revolution: World of Evil (3:20, Windows Media Player Required)
Creator: TV Sheriff / Coldcut
Source Material: 2004 major party conventions and other choice clips


Slam Bush (1:51, 5.1 MB, Quicktime Required)
Creator: Wordsworth
Kickin' a wicked rhyme in the context of the 2004 presidential debates.

Gordo (3:35, 3.2 MB)
Vocals by Gordon Campbell
Creator: MagnumPR
Source Material: Unknown/Various
Favorite Quote: "I can tell you that my cock is enormous."

Howard Killed (3:23, 3.2 MB)
Vocals by Alexander Downer
Creator: Wax Audio
Source Material: Unknown/Various